Perspectives and Lessons on MOHBAD
By REMI KOLEOSO
Mohbad’s mother said her son bought 2 Standard Refrigerators n a big Generating set for her, while he also rented 3 shops for her.
He was planning to give her N5MILLION next week to stock the 3 shops n already on monthly salary for feeding and clothing. The house rent of where she lives was paid by Mohbad.
The father that managed to send him to school n even trained him Carpentry, as a vocation, however claimed not to get anything n even said he did not know anything about his property nor his asset.
Surprisingly, the father has been with him since his mother dropped him n went away.
The in-law that did not know how Mohbad got his music career from his Daddy are the one in charge of his landed property.
Go back to paragraph one and see what the boy did for his mother.
The same woman that was nowhere to be found for 15 years. It is only his father that kept doing it n struggling till he succeeded.
FATHERS, PLEASE NOTE THAT: No matter what a man does to make their children better off, woman will use emotion to reap over 80% of ur hard work.
The mother even said she would give those shops out for rent since she can no longer operate it in that environment. Everything that matters to her is MONEY, MONEY N MONEY.
DADDY, take good care of urself, n Enjoy ur life, and stop inconveniencing urself to make ur children better off.
DO THE LITTLE YOU CAN AND NEVER EXPECT ANYTHING IN RETURN.
Don’t send ur children to expensive schools if you don’t have the money n live on loans n credit facilities, while you starve urself. Enrol them in Government Schools. Don’t allow anyone to push you beyond ur boundary. Don’t ki|| urself before Uncle Death arrives.
The whole Marriage is designed for Women to enjoy, not for the Man.
May we end well as a Man InshaJesus.
REMEMBER, MOHBAD SAID THIS: 10years i no see mummy.. STEP MOTHER DON’T CARE. Daddy gather money make i go POLY. I go POLY but i no class daddy am sorry. NA NOW MAMA WEY NO SEE PIKIN 4 10YEARS DEY LEKKI DEY CRY PEOPLE DEY GIVES MONEY NOW.
WE MEN CAME TO THIS WORLD TO SUFFER AND PAY BILLS.
(ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE)
That boy was just a victim of bad parenting.
By Dr Jadesola BABATOLA
A child who doesn’t love the mother must be very hard hearted. Unless a mother is extraordinarily wicked, tough, unhelpful and self centered, she will continue to be the centre of attraction for the children, even if she contributed nothing to their growing up or the family economy.
It is possible for the daughters in the family to be more sympathetic to their fathers or to love their fathers more than their sons, if their fathers also build a relationship with them that sees to their well being and future elevation.
Sons always treat mothers with special love and respect because of their early childhood relationship and bonding while looking at their fathers as leaders who rule over the family and perform specific responsibilities.
If fathers are aggressive and their wives provoked them to any form of verbal or physical abuse in the presence of the children at a young age, the children will likely support their mothers.
Most children don’t look deeply at the issues in family disagreements before they apportions blame to a parent. Often it is the father that becomes the beast of burden.
Even when it is obvious that the woman (wife and mother) is liable, a fair weather or liability in the home, she will always have a justification of being a victim that was neglected or a victim looking for a means to support the family or to provide for herself when the husband failed to do the needful.
A mother will end up as a vulnerable whose self pity, would eventually rub on the children’s sense of appeal, conscience and need for compassion that can emotionally carry them away.
The children will become equal victims due to what their mother assuages as a lack that their father failed to provide or manage well in the home. It is indeed a vicious cycle where men takes the burden and blame and the women takes the accolades and benefits.
Though it is also very common for Daughters in the family to be more matured early in life, thereby making the focused and emotionally balanced among them to know what it takes to get money and what their responsible fathers have done to keep the home running, they often end up appreciating whatever their fathers does for them, if they are willing to do so while their brothers (the sons) will take longer time to realize their mistakes or insensitivity to their fathers.
Average men go through many difficult situations to provide for their families and to train their children. Very few of their efforts is eventually appreciated by the children, particularly the sons, if they are deeply converted by their mothers or if they are ladies wrapper who tends to see women as helpless or vulnerable in any relationship or marriage.
The issue that fathers face in the household or family is similar to the problems that national leaders face in a nation.
The way citizens sees their national leaders or country’s head of state in matters of home and family affairs is the way sons and even all children sometimes sees father in a home.
As long as the activities of the fathers or their decisions tend to be very hard to bear for children, they are naturally alienated from them as they grow into adulthood.
Men can only survive in training their children to be fair and sound mind in such matters if they have a supportive, loving and cooperative wife who can make the children see the benefits and good in their action.
As long as many citizens do not appreciate what the head of state is doing to bring better policies to the country and as long as they are not benefiting from it, they will never think highly of the leader.
This is the same way fathers suffer neglect in the home and family for their actions in future when the children have grown up and formed an opinion that makes their father unpopular at home, particularly if their mothers never truly supported their husbands when the children are growing up.
It is possible that the children particularly the boys will eventually take sides with their mother while seeing their father as dictatorial, less supportive or responsive.
What children fail to understand, particularly when they have a prosperity mentality drawn from their mother or from their earlier childhood or environment (neighborhood and friends) is that nothing comes easy in life if they don’t work for it.
Most Fathers are working hard to make the home to stand, but the citizens will always critique their leaders and policies of government while admiring and praising human rights and civil rights activists as well as musicians who condemns the government for their mistakes or unpopular policies.
This is the role of mothers play in the family even when some of them are not contributing impactfully to the family economy.
They are always ready to talk of why their husbands failed here or there or what their husbands have left undone at home or for the family and their children.
They pretend or behave as if they are fighting for the children whereas they are fighting for themselves and developing their children as foot-soldiers to aid their exploits.
All fathers should always pray that their children ends up appreciating them, particularly the girls. The girls are often more sympathetic to their fathers than the sons.
Sons are sometimes the humanists or ladies wrapper – mothers pet. If the children fails to appreciate their fathers, the only thing left for the father to survive is to have many wives and children so that he can get better attention as the children and their mother fights for attention.
Other wise, he must have something left in investment to depend on at old age after ensuring that all his children are well trained and useful in the society.
May we not be abandoned by our children at old age and may we not bury our children with our own hands or be killed by any child, Amen.
ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE
Parents Must Salvage their Marital Destinies
By Dr. Oke Aruleba @Deprof
Permit me to shine a spotlight on the untold harsh consequences of a failed marriage as it affects the products of a marriage (children).
Marriage is a sacred union between a man and woman, a promise of everlasting love and commitment.
However, not all marriages stand the test of time, and when they fail, the consequences can be far-reaching and profound on the man, the woman and the children who always bear the brunt of a broken home.
This piece is purely advisory.
Most parents should imbibe useful lessons from the demise of the budding Crooner, Mohbhad as his parent’s failed marriage, no doubt, has had emotional, financial, and social implications for him
The most heartbreaking consequences a failed marriage had on Mohbhad during his life time was that it disrupted the stability and security he needed to thrive as a child.
With mathematical precision, one of Mohbhad’s songs makes it manifest that he sorely experienced feelings of confusion, guilt, sadness, and deprivations which had caused his overall well-being to be compromised.
That he experienced co-parenting challenges gravely caused him additional stress and strain as a child and psychological trauma as a budding artiste.
According to his song, “SORRY” it obvious that Mohbhad did experience necessary and sufficient requisite MOTHERLY AFFECTION for years.
Family cohesion, which is a sine-qua-non for a child’s healthy living was non-existent.
Candidly speaking, it takes a special grace for one to smile when one is being nailed to the cross.
It follows logically from the aforementioned that it will be a miracle for a child not to lose his head when he or she is faced with the deprivations arising from a failed marriage given the asphyxiating economic situation of Nigeria.
I refuse to apportion blames to either parents of Mohbhad because doing so will never reverse the concomitant effect of Mohbhad’s painful exit rather our dear parents out there should be aware that marriage is all about compromises because there are no marriages made in heaven. A husband and wife should consistently tolerate each other. Couples should know that a marriage is about TWO FORGIVERS living together because they will continue to discover new things about each other till they breathe their last.
A man should know that no matter how hard he tries for his children, there is always an unseverable NATURAL BOND between a mother and child.
Men should be cognizant that when they perform their butter and bread functions, they are highly appreciated. But at times, a lion gets sick and the elephant gets tired.
Men should know that rarely will they get a man or woman to offer them their shoulders to lean on in terms of need. Men should pray to raise loving and kind children who will take care of them at old age.
In conclusion, it is crucial for parents to prioritize the needs of their children during difficult times, seeking ways to minimize the negative effects of a failed marriage and providing them with the necessary support and love.
May God grant Mohbhad eternal rest. AMEN
ANOTHER ANGLE:
Revisiting the child-mother relationship at the expense of the father’s patronage in the case of Mohbad
By Dr. Jadesola BABATOLA
This is not a rejoinder to the post of my brother and Distinguished journalist- Remi Koleoso but another perspective to draw more observations from his assumptions and the realities.
A child who doesn’t love the mother must be very hard hearted. Unless a mother is extraordinarily wicked, tough, unhelpful and self centered, she will continue to be the centre of attraction for the children, even if she contributed nothing to their growing up or the family economy.
It is possible for the daughters in the family to be more sympathetic to their fathers or to love their fathers more than their sons, if their fathers also build a relationship with them that sees to their well being and future elevation.
Sons always treat mothers with special love and respect because of their early childhood relationship and bonding while looking at their fathers as leaders who rule over the family and perform specific responsibilities.
If fathers are aggressive and their wives provoked them to any form of verbal or physical abuse in the presence of the children at a young age, the children will likely support their mothers.
Most children don’t look deeply at the issues in family disagreements before they apportions blame to a parent. Often it is the father that becomes the beast of burden. Even when it is obvious that the woman (wife and mother) is liable, a fair weather or liability in the home, she will always have a justification of being a victim that was neglected or a victim looking for a means to support the family or to provide for herself when the husband failed to do the needful.
A mother will end up as a vulnerable whose self pity, would eventually rub on the children’s sense of appeal, conscience and need for compassion that can emotionally carry them away. The children will become equal victims due to what their mother assuages as a lack that their father failed to provide or manage well in the home. It is indeed a vicious cycle where men takes the burden and blame and the women takes the accolades and benefits.
Though it is also very common for Daughters in the family to be more matured early in life, thereby making the focused and emotionally balanced among them to know what it takes to get money and what their responsible fathers have done to keep the home running, they often end up appreciating whatever their fathers does for them, if they are willing to do so while their brothers (the sons) will take longer time to realize their mistakes or insensitivity to their fathers.
Average men go through many difficult situations to provide for their families and to train their children. Very few of their efforts is eventually appreciated by the children, particularly the sons, if they are deeply converted by their mothers or if they are ladies wrapper who tends to see women as helpless or vulnerable in any relationship or marriage.
The issue that fathers face in the household or family is similar to the problems that national leaders face in a nation. The way citizens sees their national leaders or country’s head of state in matters of home and family affairs is the way sons and even all children sometimes sees father in a home.
As long as the activities of the fathers or their decisions tend to be very hard to bear for children, they are naturally alienated from them as they grow into adulthood. Men can only survive in training their children to be fair and sound mind in such matters if they have a supportive, loving and cooperative wife who can make the children see the benefits and good in their action.
As long as many citizens do not appreciate what the head of state is doing to bring better policies to the country and as long as they are not benefiting from it, they will never think highly of the leader. This is the same way fathers suffer neglect in the home and family for their actions in future when the children have grown up and formed an opinion that makes their father unpopular at home, particularly if their mothers never truly supported their husbands when the children are growing up.
It is possible that the children particularly the boys will eventually take sides with their mother while seeing their father as dictatorial, less supportive or responsive. What children fail to understand, particularly when they have a prosperity mentality drawn from their mother or from their earlier childhood or environment (neighborhood and friends) is that nothing comes easy in life if they don’t work for it.
Most Fathers are working hard to make the home to stand, but the citizens will always critique their leaders and policies of government while admiring and praising human rights and civil rights activists as well as musicians who condemns the government for their mistakes or unpopular policies.
This is the role of mothers play in the family even when some of them are not contributing impactfully to the family economy. They are always ready to talk of why their husbands failed here or there or what their husbands have left undone at home or for the family and their children. They pretend or behave as if they are fighting for the children whereas they are fighting for themselves and developing their children as foot-soldiers to aid their exploits.
All fathers should always pray that their children ends up appreciating them, particularly the girls. The girls are often more sympathetic to their fathers than the sons.
Sons are sometimes the humanists or ladies wrapper – mothers pet. If the children fails to appreciate their fathers, the only thing left for the father to survive is to have many wives and children so that he can get better attention as the children and their mother fights for attention. Other wise, he must have something left in investment to depend on at old age after ensuring that all his children are well trained and useful in the society.
May we not be abandoned by our children at old age and may we not bury our children with our own hands or be killed by any child, Amen.
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