God should kill all women!
By Wale Ojo Lanre
Women! Wo- men?
Yes I just don’t know why God created women.
Maybe you know
How I wish God could kill all of them
Forget that I am a product of a woman
But then, I just don’t know the sins of women
All of them
Being a woman to me is a mistake
Walai !
A big mistake
Save for another sane plane
But in Africa
Women are just nothing
Hence I have vowed
Never to
I mean
I can never come to this Earth as a lady.
Never.
Instead, I prefer to come as a car tire.
Or I will not come at all.
A typical woman is a beast of burden.
Nwon nje pelebe iya walai .
Look at me now
Woke up from bed at 6 am
Yes, I am in Ibadan
Not in the mad City of Lagos
This lady has abandoned me in the bed since 4: 30 am
Doing the chores and ensuring all what
Of course, my food must be ready before she goes to her office. Women are the pillars.
Yes, the pillars of the homes.
And God knows what they will bear on Earth
Hence he built them stronger than men.
God used mud to construct men, Hence they are very weak.
They cannot keep secrets.
Under small pressure,
They will start to vomit.
They are easily provoked.
Their level of tolerance is abysmally low.
They are men full of jealousy.
Just because they are a product of sand which capitulates when engaged with ordinary water.
But women, are strong like the rock of Gibraltar.
Just because they are made of bones.
Strong bones from the hardest part of the man – side bones are the part that reinforces and stabilize the man.
Women are the assets. Without women, the world will be hell to live. I bow to God.
I respect women. Those who secrete life monthly. Those who recreate and reproduce self.
Those who sing for their children in the dead of the night. The awesome mother with the longest shawl.
I will never offend you. I will never humiliate you. Neither will I ridicule you in the day nor flout your laws in the night.
I praise the Lord Almighty. I salute you, women. Let it be well with me.
I can never wish you dead
Rather I pray for all of you
To live long and long
To live to take care of your husbands in old age
And take care of the children
and eat the fruit of your labor
after the departure of your aged husbands
Long you live
Don’t mind me
I managed to write this after demolishing a bowl of amala with iru-infested soup prepared before 5; 30 am by a woman
Happy Women’s Day!
Signed
Wale Ojo Lanre
Ibipeju Oniru Chamber
Upper Ogudu River
Irede Estate
Usi Ekiti